Dreams

  On Riverside Street, there are places to go, there are memories lingering-persistent.     
  On Riverside Street, my heart is in my throat, and yet it beckons- consistent.       
  Leaving Riverside Street is like leaving my dreams-still hope is always insistent.

              At rest I wait, for some small bliss           
         to call me to adventures far            
              waiting and wondering, did I miss      
         my quest, that magnetic beckoning star?          

                       
      

Bowery Street

Here's somthing I did.  I like it. I hope you do too.    This poem follows a stressful few days.      
  
               Beauty like the petal rare      
            draws me into stillness there.                     
                Heart turns, the image fades        
            I reminisce of younger days.                 
                 Memories sharpen as we dream,             
             fallacious pride-its feathers preen.  
                 Fortutious journeys may hold treasure  
             we chose  this present pleasure.               
                  Many stories have been incomplete   
             Longing for an ending sweet.       
                
            
             

Time in a tylenol bottle

So its Tuesday morning and all is well.  This mothering thing is not for the faint of heart.  Child #5 is five months old and teething fiercely.  I have done everything possible short of dipping a cloth in whiskey and giving it to him to chew on.  You know those pioneer mothers in the 1800's were on to something.  Don't think I haven't considered that course of action.  For me at least.  Infant tylenol doesn't even touch his pain.  I would like to double the dose, but I don't think that its a safe course of action.  I did pen a poem yesterday.  Like all writing, I will go over it and correct and repen a few words or lines today.  Hoping to get 1/2 hr in later this morning or maybe after the kids are in bed to do some more writing.  There are so many projects waiting my attention..... As I write I have son #4 in my lap.  I have decided that 1/2 hr of tv time is more than sufficient for all of the kiddos.  I would ideally like to not have the tv on at all during Mon-Fri (for the kids)  I need to watch Bones and The Mentalist (need-ha).  I am still yearning for a place in the country.  In my dreams, it looks like an old farmhouse with a large basement and several acres and a barn to shelter the few hobby animals.  A long driveway so the kids can ride their bikes without having to go on the road completes this dream of mine.   That has been on my mind a lot lately, what with all these active sons- they need some chores!  I grew up on a rental house in the country that sat on  125 acres that the owners used for raising beef cattle.  There were 2 big barns and ponds and it was located near a creek that would flood in  the winter and had lots of black racer snakes and water moccasin snakes.   Good times!  ;)  We were allowed to wander at whim and do whatever we wanted on that property.  That was a little slice of childhood paradise.  We did mulberry picking, crawdad fishing, as well as regular fish fishing.  My older brother and I chased cattle from pasture to pasture.  That was awesome.  We would trap young heifers in the smaller barn and take turns daring each other to ride them.  Sorry Mr. Bland if your beef was tough.....I guess I should fess up to him someday.   He was a nice guy.   Well, it appears that the Orajel and Tylenol have taken effect on the littlest one.  Yay.  I have things to do, calls to make, places to go.  They call me a "stay at home" mom.  Who in all their brilliance thought that term up?  It implies a hunched over frail woman who squints at the sunlight when she emerges from her hiding place like a fearful creature, daring to enter the bold world of new and strange sights.   Ok, so the world is strange and there ARE strange sights and pple.  But I am not entirely fearful of them.  I carry mace.  So there!  ;)  Have a good day. 

Resolve is such a hard thing.

 The reason I started this blog is that I have the goal of being a published author. I  like to write poetry, have an idea for a childens series.  But I am going to have set some time aside specifically  to concentrate on this goal.   I want this badly, the more I think about it, the more I want it.  I would like some feedback or advice.  I am listening to Jakob Dylan in hopes of inspiration.  I have found in the past that being outside all alone and quiet provides good fodder for my imagination and creative flow.  Thats the hippie in me.  Or cave person, depending on how much you view me.   I have not told my husband about my writing goal yet.   I don't think he will take me seriously.  He is not a "book" person and while he is skilled with creating, fixing things with his hands, literary pursuits would bore him.   My poetry scares him.  I can be expressively dark and he is not comfortable with that in any way.  He was raised in a very safe and loving home.  Sheltered from life' blasts.  Opposites attract they say.  I have been happier just this past week with having a goal outside of the "mommy life".  The children suck so much out of me, that I want something that is mine, only mine.  A way to express and be recognized and bring in some income that is uniquely mine and satisfying.   I will do this.  My goal is 20 poems by Christmas.  Only 20, because I want to turn out beautiful poems, not drivel.  Perhaps an outline to the children's series?  There is only one of me, this could present some challenges.  Resolved.  Keep me accountable.  Enjoy the snow if you live in Ohio.  I am trying my best to ignore the forecasts.  My son has repeatedly asked for me to make pumpkin pie.  Maybe  tomorrow will be the day! 

One of my favorite Steves

 So this evening the mother in law (who is really very nice) was hosting a family get together with extended fam.  Her brother in law, Steve came with his family.  I like Steve, he reminds me of my dad, without the emotional landmines.  I can sit and talk to him for hours and enjoy every minute of it.  He is not judgemental or strange or an "advice giver."  My dad raised me listening to CCR, Seger, Johnny Cash, John Denver, Willie Nelson, & Fats Domino.  I don't have many friends who like that style of  music.  Steve and I can share music on Fb!  I have a brother named Steve(n) and a brother in law  Steve.  My other brother Darrell- whoops, I meant to say Kevin ;)  (see, now most of my friends would not had got that reference) has a father in law named Steve.  We can run but we can 't hide from the Steves.  They are all good guys, we shall keep them.  Back to Steve,  his job takes him all over the place, he was recently in Colorado and West Virginia.  He was showing me pics of the landscapes on his blackbery.  I am jealous and a little homesick.  Back to Steve again.  We can't choose our family or backgrounds, but we can choose who we are and how we treat our families.  I can choose to build love and trust and healthy relationships into my children and their friends, and hopefully someday I can  be somebody's Steve.  Easy to talk to, nonjudgemental, full of kindness.  Speaks of God and what He has done without sounding  preachy.  Completely genuine.  I have work to do in life of mine....   Wondering if anyone else has a "Steve"? 

Its about time

I have been needing a change for a while.  So I am listening to Freddy Mercury instead of Eminem.  Baby steps.  I am beginning something that I hope will be successful.  I am starting to write poetry, with the hope of getting some of it published.  If its meets the approval of editors.  I also have an idea for a childrens series of books that had been stored away for while. That inspiration reared its head about 2 months ago.  There are also other ideas, but I need to write what I know.  I have a good imagination, if I let it go.....;)  Being a stay at home with my kiddos is initiating the wiggle to re-establish my identity beyond "mommy."  If anyone has any pointers- feel free to share.  I enjoy writing, the challenge of putting my ideas in words that communicate feeling as well as factual  information.  I am attempting to keep a good attitude about the snow that the forecasters are calling for tonight and tomorrow.  Blech!  Whoops, not successful there, oh well!  I have the intention of keeping my "writing goal and dreams" to myself and the anonymous blog world.  I am not ready for criticism and naysayers from my circle of family and friends.  Being a cooped-up mom for several years does a number on one's confidence.   So here I am-please be kind.  I appreciate honesty.  I might test some ideas or poetry on here.  I started on my poetry today, began the outline for the 1st book on my potential series.  I think its a cute storyline.  The story was one I created to entertain my niece and nephews about 12 yrs ago when I lived with my sis's family in beautiful northern Idaho.  I do not live there anymore and miss it much.  The ache for the mountains comes and goes.  Unless you've experienced it, you may not be able to indentify with this.  Sigh.  Well the "Mentalist" comes on in about 3 minutes, so have a good Friday world.